Hi everyone :) Last week I managed to play a game of Blood Bowl, which was my first proper game in many years (essentially since I was a teenager), and it was great fun. I decided that I would write up a match report to commemorate the occasion, so I hope you enjoy! I'll just say at this stage that all appropriate social distancing measures were taken. As it was our first game back after a long absence, we decided to use the line-ups which came with the teams. I would be playing the Fire Mountain Gut Busters, and my opponent would be playing the Naggaroth Nightmares. Without further ado, I'm going to hand you over to the commentary team: Pre Match"Good afternoon, and welcome to the big game! I'm your host for this evening, Barry Shineker, and I'm here with my colleague Savage Robby. We're here at the neutral Altdorf Stadium for a one off match between the Naggaroth Nightmares and the Fire Mountain Gut Busters. In any other sport it might be called a friendly, but there's no such thing in Blood Bowl! As an Ogre yourself Savage I'm sure you'll be hoping for a Gut Busters victory, but I hope you'll be able to stay impartial in your coverage" "TEAMS SMASH!!" "Well, quite. I'm hearing that despite the neutral location we have rather a rather partisan crowd, with 13,000 ogres in attendance and only 5,000 Night Elves. That sounds like a recipe for trouble to me...and, yes...sure enough, there's a riot in progress! It looks like we'll have a delayed kick off here. While the stewards sort that out it gives me time to talk a little about the weather here, and it's pretty foul. The rain has been pouring down all day, and that's going to make it difficult to control the ball isn't it Savage?" "NO CARE ABOUT BALL, STUPID HUMAN" "I think that gives us an indication of the kind of tactics we might see from the Ogre team, and they may be helped in that by the choice of referee for this match. Jorn the Ogre will be officiating, although far be it from me to question his objectivity. Well, it looks like we're finally ready to go, and I'm hearing that the Naggaroth Nightmares have won the toss and chosen to receive. Let's get into the action..." First HalfDespite the riot taking away the first turn for each side, the Naggaroth Nightmares got off to a quick start, advancing down the field rapidly, passed the rather immobile ogre team. Not only that, but the very first action of the game KO'd a gnoblar! It looked as though the fast start might be dented when an ogre strolled over and outright killed a dark elf runner, but the Nightmares were still able to score a second turn touchdown. Not only that, but their physio's magic sponge really lived up to its name by bringing the runner back to life! What had been a blistering start for the Nightmares, with a series of amazing dice rolls, starting to turn sour after the coach failed a dexterity roll while attempting to drink tea and spilt some on the board... For the most part the rest of the first half passed in an embarrassing series of fumbles and dropped balls in the pouring rain. This was exemplified by a Night Elf blitzer who, in three consecutive turns, fell over twice then dropped the ball in the end zone! There was a modicum of good news for the Fire Mountain Gut Busters, however, as the player who had been magically revived was killed again! After the rapid start to the first half, the game slightly limped through to half time, with the Naggaroth Nightmares holding a 1-0 lead over the Fire Mountain Gut Busters. Half Time"A well deserved lead for the Naggaroth Nightmares there, wouldn't you say Savage?" "PUNY NIGHT ELVES NO MATCH FOR OGRE FISTS!" "Well, it's certainly true that the Nightmares will be rather depleted for the second half. The question will be can they continue their dominance with just...it looks like they will have only 8 players fit for the second half, while the Gut Busters seem to have a never ending supply of gnoblars to fill their 11 spots! The ogre fans are looking a little restless again out there, so I hope that the team can find something to put a smile back on their faces". "HAPPY OGRE IS PUNCHY OGRE" "And, with that terrifying prospect, its time to get back into the action". Second HalfThe second half started even more quickly than the first, with a blitz action rolled on the kick off table. That meant that even though they were kicking, the Naggaroth Nightmares were able to take the first turn. A spectacular failure on the part of a gnoblar meant that they were able to run in an unopposed touchdown in their first 'proper' turn of the half. Not only that, but with another riot rolled on the kick off table both turn markers were moved back one space, so we were essentially back at the start of the second half, but with a second touchdown for the Nightmares! To make matters even worse, some of the KO'd members of the team regained consciousness and came back on to the field, meaning that they had more players than at the 'proper' start of the half. It's fair to say I was cursing my luck! My fortunes started to change somewhat soon after the following kick off, when an ogre miraculously managed to catch a fumble. What followed was a charge down the pitch...OK, it took 3 full turns for the ogre to run half the pitch, but nevertheless it was 2-1, and I was back in with a chance. Briefly...! Some more disastrous handling from gnoblars handed another easy touchdown to the Nightmares and just like that they pulled ahead to 3-1. The remaining turns were taken up by desperate attempts by the ogres to throw and kick the gnoblars into the end zone but, despite some relatively close attempts, the game ended 3-1 to the Naggaroth Nightmares Post Match Analysis"Welcome back to the studio, where I'm now on my own after Savage Robby left to join in the latest riot.
The Naggaroth Nightmares will be pleased with the final result, but will be just as glad that they have a long time to recover before their next match. It was a bloody and brutal affair out there, and the Dark Elves were definitely on the receiving end of the worst of it. I'm just hearing that the final decision for MVP has now been reached, and...it's gone to the physio for the Nightmares! No wonder, having brought one player back to life, and ensuring that countless others regained consciousness in time to get back on the pitch. I fear a match like this could have been devastating to the Nightmares if this were a league match as they wouldn't have been close to fielding a full side in their next match. In total seven players were dead or seriously injured, and it would have been nine but for the genuinely magic sponge and the iron will of the witch elf. Well, that's it from me. Join me next time when we transmit Blood Bowl directly into your head using the most powerful wizards in the land. What's that? My producer is telling me that that should have been the most available wizards in all the land. Good Night!"
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